i would punch a child for taco bell
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i will never coherently bang her
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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