9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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