I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
