she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
