went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
