some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
