elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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