why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He passed out mid-signature
she pinky promised me she was 18
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
