I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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