Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
