Tell her she can't have a vagina
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
