I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
