youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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