wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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