Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
