Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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