I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
