all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
