Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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