just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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