we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
