That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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