Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Randomize
