***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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