I molested 6 butterflies tonight
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
