She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We are all done wearing pants today
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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