Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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