No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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