Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
