Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
