So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I need to align my fucking chakras
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
