your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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