I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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