why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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