I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
