thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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