what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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