Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
