I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
A bitchslap is in order.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
