Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
