are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
