i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
