bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
