Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
