you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
