i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
