i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
