The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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