Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
