WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
