found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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